


Jake Has A Shit Day At Work

by UnhelpfulPanda



Series: Fabulous Foursome [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anal Sex, Collars, Foursome - M/M/M/M, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Multi, Multiple Orgasms, Oral Sex, Sex Toys, Sibling Incest, everyone gangs up on dave because jake wants them to ;), jake works at the zoo, more headcanons for these four together, sorry but i always revert to bottom bitch dave its a curse....but a sexy curse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 18:04:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7517962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnhelpfulPanda/pseuds/UnhelpfulPanda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jake works at the zoo, which is great until a monkey outsmarts him and escapes. Luckily, he has his three boyfriends back at home to make him forget all about work.</p><p>Gifted to Viczen, who gave me the prompt for Jake working at a zoo (and having to capture an escaped animal) almost two fucking years ago. Don't know if you are still into Homestuck but this is for you, friendo!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jake Has A Shit Day At Work

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Viczen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Viczen/gifts).



> this has been a WIP for a long time now, so I'm glad to finish it up and get it out here. Even if I'm supposed to be working on other fics lmao.....sorry.....
> 
> this turned out to be longer than the previous fics ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

            Monkeys are assholes. Jake had come to that conclusion pretty fucking quickly, but by that point it was too late.

            Jake had gotten the job at the zoo because he loved animals and wasn’t afraid to get dirty. Or get attacked, but they had safeguards on the more dangerous animals. So when his boss told him to go check on a monkey that looked like it was hurt, he jumped at the chance. Mostly, he just cleaned and directed visitors towards the nearest bathroom.

            The monkey had been lying down, looking at him with pitiful eyes. He left the door to the enclosure open, not wanting to lock himself inside and sure the injured monkey could not move fast enough to get past him.

            Except Jake had been operating under the assumption that the monkey was _actually_ injured. When he knelt down to inspect the animal, the monkey used his head to springboard over him, and by the time he had turned around with a “JESUS FUCK!”, the monkey was waving at him and shutting the door behind it with an ominous ‘ _click_!’

            By the time a co-worker had heard his banging and opened the door for him, Jake was sure he would be fired if his boss knew the monkey had escaped. He needed to get the monkey back in the enclosure before it hurt someone or broke something or, god forbid, his boss found out.

            Jake spent the whole day chasing that damn monkey, and by the time he had literally wrestled the monkey and dragged it kicking and screaming back into it’s enclosure, it was hours after his shift should have ended, and he had a bump on his forehead from when the monkey threw half the contents of a gift kiosk at him.

            Jake finally got home, tired and sore, and the smell of pizza hit his senses. His three boyfriends were on the couch, Dirk watching something on Netflix while Dave leaned against him playing on his 3DS and John stretched out on their laps, half asleep until he heard the front door shut.

            “Jake!” he called, jumping from the couch and running to, no doubt, jump into Jake’s arms. Jake held up his arms warningly, too sore to hold even the smallest of his boyfriends.

            “Why are you home so late?” Dave asked, not looking up from his 3DS.

            “What happened to your forehead?” John asked, poking the spot. Jake winced.

            “John, go get Jake some pizza,” Dirk spoke up. John glanced back at the oldest of them and nodded, disappearing into the kitchen. Dirk gestured for Jake to come over to him, nudging Dave. “Dave, put away the DS and go put in the Indiana Jones movie,” he added.

            “What? Why? I almost finished this boss, Dirk, just-”

            “Jake had a bad day at work and we are going to cheer him up. Read the room, stupid!” John hissed, ushering Jake over to the couch. Jake sat on Dirk’s lap, burying his face into the crook of Dirk’s neck.

            “Oh. Okay,” Dave murmured, getting up. Dirk scooted over so John could sit on his left. Dave put the movie in and sat on Dirk’s right. “What happened, Jakey?”

            “Monkeys are assholes,” Jake grumbled into Dirk’s neck. “I don’t want to talk about the blasted monkey, don’t make me talk about the monkey…”

            “He’s lost his marbles,” John concluded. Dave reached over and snatched the plate of pizza from his hands, side-eying the blue eyed boy.

            “Why don’t you eat some pizza and watch Indiana Jones desecrate ancient shit like a fucking prick?” Dave smiled. Jake nodded, sitting up and taking the pizza.

            By the time they had watched the first two Indiana Jones movies and were partially through with the third, Jake felt much better. He was still sitting on Dirk’s lap, but Dave had fallen asleep in his lap and he was carding his fingers through the younger blonde’s hair. John was also sleeping against Dirk’s arm, snoring quietly.

            Jake was fully content to finish the third movie and retire for the night, but before the movie was halfway over, soft kisses were being places along his jawline. “Dirk, what are you up to?” Jake asked with a smile, knowing well what the older Strider was ‘up to’. Dirk’s soft kissing turned to light nips and gentle suction until Jake was biting his bottom lip and squirming. Dirk kissed up his neck to his lips and Jake hungrily devoured the other boy’s mouth

            “Ey yo English, your boner is stabbing me in the face,” Dave’s muffled voice spoke up. Dirk broke the kiss off, smirking over Jake’s shoulder at his brother.

            “Then use your face for something more useful for his boner,” he replied. Dave sat up, unzipping Jake’s short and tugging them down to his knees. Not even bothering to remove his underwear as well, Dave put his mouth on Jake’s dick through the fabric. Jake let out a moan.

            “Huh? Wh-what’s going on?” John asked tiredly, sitting up and seeing the position his boyfriends were in. “Oh.” Dirk stood up, ridding Jake of his clothing and pushing him towards the youngest boy.

            “Here, occupy our jungle boy. I’ll be back,” Dirk ordered. Jake straddled John’s legs and grabbed at the black haired boy’s face, molding their mouths together. John wrapped his arms around Jake’s waist, deepening the kiss. Dave slid up behind the green-eyed boy, minus his shirt, and kissed and nipped at Jake's neck, drawing a whimper from him.

            “Can John even feel his legs?” Dirk suddenly spoke up, having come back into the room in only his boxers. He was holding lube in one hand and a small box in the other hand.

            “Who needs legs when you have a naked hottie in your lap?” John replied.

            “Do I want to know what's in that box?” Dave asked with his red eyes narrowed suspiciously.

            “I haven't had a reason to bring them out until now, but Jakey wanted to see you two with pretty toys,” Dirk smirked. Jake perked up, making grabby hands at the box. Dirk just snickered and handed it over. Jake rolled off of John's lap (secretly to the smallest boy's relief) and opened up the box.

            “You even color coded them! Oh Dirk, our boys are going to look absolutely ravishing in these,” Jake sighed happily, pulling out two collars. Both collars had words written in rhinestones; the bright blue one said 'good boy' and the blood red one said 'naughty boy'.

            “Why do you get the 'good boy' one and I get 'naughty boy'?” Dave pouted. John gave an impish grin in reply.

            “Down on your knees, both of you. Chins up,” Dirk ordered. John obediently did as he was told, but Dave crossed his arms petulantly and refused to move. Jake fastened John's collar, cooing about how good he was, while Dirk wrestled Dave's collar onto him.

            “And _that_ is why I got the good boy collar,” John simpered as Jake finished ridding him of his clothes.

            “That's also why you get the cockring and John doesn't,” Jake smirked, pulling out a red cockring to match the collar color. Dirk tugged the rest of the younger Strider’s clothes off, pinning him down and fastening the cockring on his half hard erection. Dave whined in the back of his throat and stopped resisting, pouting up at the orange-eyed older man.

            “Is that it?” He grumbled, his eyes immediately darting towards John and Jake as the youngest of them made a small moan. John was resting his forearms on the couch, hips jutting out as Jake rubbed something small and blue against his hole and then pushed inside.

            “Don’t get jealous, you have a matching one,” Dirk chuckled, pulling Dave into the same position as John was already in. He took a moment to make sure the small red toy was lubed enough to slide in with little resistance, then pressed it into Dave’s ass. Dave moaned softly, wiggling his hips to get used to the feeling.

            Jake was slowly stroking himself at the sight of his younger boyfriends. As he thought, the two of them looked very good, like a slutty rendition of the dynamic duo. He liked it a lot when they matched. He reached with his free hand for the last piece, which Dirk had promised he would get to control to make up for his shitty day.

            John and Dave let out matching cries of surprise when the toys in their asses began to buzz at the same time. “Wh-what the fuck what that?!” Dave demanded shakily when the vibrations dulled. Jake waved the remote teasingly at them.

            “Dirk tinkered with this dandy little contraption until it could control both toys at the same time. Isn’t he a wondrous handyman?” Jake purred more in Dirk’s direction than the others’. Of course, that might have been because Dirk was kissing and nipping at his neck and shoulders.

            “I’d like him to get handy with my man,” John muttered under his breath, and Dave burst out laughing.

            “Oh god no, it’s so weird to laugh with a vibrator up my ass!” Dave wheezed. Jake rolled his eyes and upped the vibration for a moment, turning their laughter into gasps and moans.

            “You know you can play with each other, right?” Dirk informed. John practically jumped at Dave, gripping at the blonde’s hair and devouring his mouth. Dave tried to keep up with his black haired counterpart, but as soon as he began reciprocating he was shoved back.

            “Yo what the fu-AH!!” Dave screamed, arching his back as John swallowed his cock down without warning. He tried to reach down to grab at the other boy’s head but John pinned his arms to his sides by his wrists. “Fuck, John!” Dave gasped loudly.

            Jake chose that time to bring the vibrators up one notch, then another, making Dave scream again and John moan around the dick in his mouth.

            Dirk’s hands were wandering now, not content simply watching anymore. He tweaked and rubbed at Jake’s nipples, earning himself gasps and whimpers, before moving down and wrapping his hand around Jake’s dripping erection.

            “Dirk…” Jake sighed in adoration, letting his head fall back onto the older blonde’s shoulder. He basked in the moment of Dirk’s lazy jerks to his cock while Dave and John completely made messes of themselves. Then he sat up, pushing Dirk’s hand away. “Alrighty then, I think its time we moved things along, don’t you?” he asked.

            “How do you want this to go?” Dirk asked, taking the remote Jake had turned off and setting it aside. Dave sighed in relief as John pulled back to pant against his hip. Jake whispered in his ear, and Dirk nodded with a smirk. “You always did say you loved seeing him do that,” he chuckled.

            “Can we get on with it? Like, now? Before my dick falls off?” Dave asked impatiently. Jake smirked at him. “Oh man, that look does not bode well for me, does it.” It wasn’t a question; Dave knew without asking that it did indeed mean what he thought it meant.

            “Congrats, my boy, you get to fuck our dear John’s hot butt,” Jake told him, flicking the cockring off. He pointed his finger in Dave’s face, making red eyes cross to see it. “Do not come until I give you my express permission,” he demanded. Dave nodded quickly, getting a pleased peck on the lips.

            “John, lay down on your back,” Dirk ordered, hardly finishing his sentence before John was doing what he was told. “Good boy,” he cooed as he took the vibrator out, making John squirm a bit. The two older men maneuvered their younger lovers until John had his legs wrapped around Dave’s waist and Dave was slowly pushing his cock into John’s entrance.

            Jake waited until Dave started thrusting slowly before nodding to Dirk. “Aren’t you a lucky one?” Dirk purred in his brother’s ear as he slid up behind him. “Jake is absolutely spoiling you, isn’t he?” Dirk and Jake exchanged knowing grins before Dirk replaced the red vibrator with his own cock. Dave whimpered, eyes squeezing shut as he froze up.

            John snapped his fingers in Dave’s face. “Keep moving, you tease!” he hissed.

            “I-I can’t, I’m…I’m gonna cum if I move,” Dave mumbled. Jake laughed. “Fuck off, English!” he snapped.

            “Go ahead and come for us, angel,” Jake smiled. Dirk gave a hard thrust and set Dave off, making the younger blonde moan against John’s neck as he came inside him. John glanced at Jake and smirked, having caught on to the brunette’s little game.

            Dirk began thrusting again, setting up a gentle rhythm so as not to hurt the sensitive boy. Dave whimpered, glaring halfheartedly at Jake. Jake grinned back, crawling over so he was kneeling with his cock in Dave’s face. “I cannot fucking believe you three are torturing me to make Jake feel better,” he grumbled.

            John pushed back against Dave’s dick as Dirk thrust forward a bit harder, making Dave gasp. “Come on, darling. Don’t you like sucking dick?” Jake asked playfully, hand going to Dave’s bottom lip to coax his mouth into opening for him. Despite his glare, Dave opened his mouth and let Jake push in with a groan.

            Dirk began thrusting faster, urging Dave to move with John until Dave was pounding into John’s ass, making the smallest of the four practically shout in pleasure. Jake wasn’t much gentler, fucking Dave’s mouth slow but hard. With the three way stimulation, it took no time at all before Dave was looking up at Jake with pleading red eyes, pupils blown wide with lust.

            “You want to cum again?” Jake asked breathlessly. Dave moaned around him, nodding eagerly. “Go ahead and come for us, love,” Jake allowed. Red eyes rolled back as he jerked and came again into John. John arched his back with a shout as he followed Dave’s example, coming almost violently.

            Dirk paused so John could wiggle out from under the Striders before pounding into Dave’s ass. Jake tugged Dave off his cock to hear the screams of the younger blonde. Dirk groaned and pulled Jake into a rough kiss as he achieved his own orgasm.

            Dirk pulled out slowly, letting Dave rest for only a moment before Jake was taking his place. “Just a little more, okay?” Jake asked gently, waiting for Dave’s confirmation before shoving into him, starting up a slow but deep rhythm.

            Dave whined and gasped until Jake hit his prostate, where he let out a small sob. Jake paused, glancing at John to ask him to check. “Dave?” John asked gently, “Dave, do you need to safeword?”

            “N-no, just please, please finish quickly,” Dave whimpered. Jake nodded and began thrusting faster, hurrying to his finish. Dave bit his lip to muffle his cries. Jake finished with a loud moan, and Dave echoed it quietly as he came dry.

            Dirk had already flashstepped off for the baby wipes they had started keeping for cleanup. Jake held Dave in his arms and kissed all over his face. “You were so good for us, Dave,” John praised, petting Dave’s hair. Dave snickered quietly.

            “I get the ‘good boy’ collar next time,” he told them.

            “You definitely earned the collar, babe,” Dirk chuckled, cleaning all of them up. He returned all toys to the box to be cleaned at a later time, picking Dave up. Jake and John followed to their huge bed, cuddling up on either side of the exhausted blonde. Dirk curled up around Jake, as per usual.

            “He’s already asleep,” Jake whispered.

            “No fucking kidding; he came three times with no breaks,” Dirk snorted.

            “Do you feel better now that you’ve tormented Dave?” John asked, sounding like he was falling asleep already as well. He _had_ been woken up twice already, after all.

            “Yes, much better. My boys always cheer me up,” Jake smiled. “Did you have fun?” Silence. “John?” More silence.

            “He’s asleep. I don’t even think he heard the answer to his question,” Dirk commented. “We should join them.”

            “That’s the second best idea I’ve heard all day,” Jake yawned.

            “The first was making Dave have multiple orgasms, I’m guessing?” Dirk presumed. His presumption was met by silence. “Jake?” he asked, only to receive a snore in reply. “Wow, really? How can you two do that?” he snorted. “Okay, losers, goodnight,” he called quietly.

            He still wasn’t replied to.

**Author's Note:**

> how do you end a fic? 
> 
> unsure how it ended up being another fic ganging up on Dave, but it happened. It's based off my headcanon that Dave is the only one who can have multiple orgasms and Jake thinks its really hot. 
> 
> Also answers the question of if they use toys: fuckin duh they use toys!
> 
> And a third headcanon! Jake and John can fall asleep almost instantly. Luckily John is a pretty light sleeper, but Jake is a really heavy sleeper and its hell to wake him up. On the other hand, the Striders usually have a hard time getting to sleep unless they are worn out by previous activity (AKA sex)


End file.
